Why “Black lives matter?! I think all lives matter”​ is 100% true and 100% wrong

I hear people talk past each other every day. We can fix this.

Let me back up and explain my perspective. My mom is from Mexico and I have some African ancestry on both sides (also Jewish, Polynesian, and Pakistani). I grew up brown and blessed in the Deep South in the 1960’s. I’m not black but I’ve been called the N-word. I was named after my white southern father who was named after Robert E. Lee. In other words, I’m so mixed up that I can’t help but hear things from multiple conflicting angles.

But after two decades in the suburbs with a cushy Microsoft job, the harsh reality that sparked the George Floyd protests can begin to feel distant, abstract, and even exaggerated. But it’s not.

Somehow, I forgot about a walk around the neighborhood a few years ago. On that walk, I was stopped by the police, pushed down hard over the hood, and frisked. Why? A neighbor spotted and called in a suspicious-looking man that walked by several times. I was six doors away from a house that I’d owned for 15 years. The officers, one white and one black, were good men but the culture we share is hinky to the core. I can’t begin to imagine how hard it is for my friends of different colors, especially in certain cities.

Back to black lives matter. I hear this phrase from conflicting angles:

People hear two different things with the phrase “black lives matter”. Why? Because “black lives matter” is an answer to an unspoken question.

The unspoken question is not, “Which lives matter?” The unequivocal answer to that question is: black lives, Asian lives, white lives, Hispanic lives, Muslim lives, all lives. That is 100% true. Ask anyone holding a Black Lives Matter sign and they’ll tell you the same. But it’s also 100% wrong.

Why? Because “Which lives matter?” was never the unspoken question. Rather, the unspoken question is, “Why should I care about racism, brutality, and inequality?”. The incredibly humble, almost whispered, answer is: (because) black lives matter (too). Can you hear the difference? Please tell me you can hear the difference.